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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Shared recently on X:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Making waves on X:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Trending via Pinterest:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Just landed via Facebook:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Breaking via Instagram:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a relationship built on clay-solid activities! 🍶😂

act, activity, date, girlfriend, i, me, pottery, relationship, reluctance, shit, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

0

5 months ago

due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time
On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

0

4 months ago

clutter, episode, hoarder, Hoarders, humor, mental, mental clutter, next, show, subconscious, TV, TV Show, visit
I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

0

5 months ago

basic, basic needs, cold, discomfort, freezing, hunger, needs, pee, peeing, starving
The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

0

2 months ago

exercise, financial, financial struggle, fitness, humor, joke, money, month, running, struggle
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

0

6 months ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird
In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

0

2 months ago

debate, effort, humor, internet, pointlessness, proof, real, reality, snow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Slack this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Just shared via Slack:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨