Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Trending via TikTok:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Breaking via Slack:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Going viral on Reddit:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Just shared via YouTube:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a relationship built on clay-solid activities! 🍶😂

act, activity, date, girlfriend, i, me, pottery, relationship, reluctance, shit, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

0

1 month ago

blessing, fortune, good, good fortune, gratitude, humor, prayer, praying, son, start, welcome, wish, world
The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

0

2 months ago

being, bitch, curiosity, determination, humor, investigation, nosiness, nosy, research, research skill, skill, wants
Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

0

2 months ago

alien, buying, car, event, humor, imagination, imagine, new, superhero, unexpected, unexpected event
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

0

2 months ago

bacon, bake, cook, cooky, culinary, food, funny observation, humor, language, observation, wordplay
When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

0

2 months ago

child, childhood, humor, i, nature, network, nostalgia, outside, play, social, social network, technology
My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

0

5 months ago

animal, day, humor, laziness, nap, sleep, sloth, spirit, spirit animal

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Slack this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

14 shares on Slack this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Seen just now on TikTok:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Shared recently on Discord:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Just landed via YouTube:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Trending via Telegram:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨