I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?