Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Just landed via Threads:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Making waves on Snapchat:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Spotted on WeChat:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Making waves on Facebook:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Playful quote about breaking social norms at a funeral with witty reassurance.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I need a break from me.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I only drink when I people.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

85 shares on X this month:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

18 shares on X this month:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is based on a true story.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Trending via Slack:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Just shared via Instagram:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Trending via Slack:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Seen just now on X:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Seen just now on Slack:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Spotted on Twitch:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴