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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Trending via Telegram:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Trending via Telegram:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Breaking via X:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Trending via Messenger:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Trending via Reddit:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

2 months ago

0

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"

awkwardness, being, complete, else, everyone, funeral, here, humor, i, ignore, inappropriate, interaction, issue, lightheartedness, opinion, over, personal, personal opinion, saying, social, social interaction, spice, strangers, things, walking, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

0

2 months ago

AI, attack, caffeine, coffee, coming, drink, human, human reaction, humor, ID, job, panic, panic attack, reaction, stress, technology, workplace
Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

0

2 months ago

bubble, bubble wrap, excuse, funny moment, humor, late, moment, procrastination, sorry, wrap
When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

0

2 months ago

ask, audacity, back, charger, family, humor, percentage, phone, phone charger, technology, teenager
Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, choices, fun, humor, i, irresponsible, irresponsible adult, life, life choices, responsibility, responsible, responsible adult, tired
Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

0

2 months ago

coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home
When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

0

2 months ago

humor, identity, Jenn, Jennifer, joke, name, nickname, people, play, play on words, short, think, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

70 shares on Slack this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

74 shares on Facebook this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

77 shares on X this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Spotted on X:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Making waves on YouTube:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

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