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"Oh, Rumpelstiltskin really knows how to keep his true self under wraps! 🙈 Who knew he had a whole other side hustle going on? 😂 Watch out for those fairy tale characters, they've got some surprising secrets up their sleeves!"

character, dismay, dismayed, fairy, fairy tale, hear, humor, i, idea, outside, Rumpelstiltskin, story, surprise, tale, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Just shared via Instagram:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Spotted on Facebook:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Spotted on Facebook:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Just landed via TikTok:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Trending via Snapchat:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Live now on Threads:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Just landed via TikTok:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Spotted on WeChat:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Live now on Pinterest:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

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Activity Log ✨

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

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Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

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“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

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Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

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I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

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