Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Trending via Facebook:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Just shared via Discord:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Spotted on Slack:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Seen just now on X:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I've watched so much 'Law and Order' that my remote control is now a key suspect! 🕵️‍♂️🔍📺"

binge, binge-watching, control, fingerprint, fingerprints, humor, i, law, Law and Order, much, order, remote, remote control, turn, TV, watch, watching, wipe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

0

2 months ago

agree, attention, comment, constant, humor, i, media, need, online, people, retweet, social, social media, stand, validation
Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

0

2 months ago

achievement, brag, directions, humor, i, navigation, someone, success
Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

0

2 months ago

actually, bolt, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, funny image, humor, image, irony, much, nuts, nuts and bolt, robots, technology
I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

0

2 months ago

appetite, breakfast, chewing, daily, daily routine, eat, eating, food, forget, forgetfulness, humor, humor quote, i, lunch, meal, meal planning, people, planning, routine, understand, while
If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

0

1 month ago

cool, cooler, encounter, family, generation, humor, kids, kind, kindness, parent, parents, teenager, wild
Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

0

2 months ago

couch, expression, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online therapy, social, social media, therapist, therapy, Twitter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

41 shares on Slack this month:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

26 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

58 shares on Slack this month:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Going viral on Telegram:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Just shared via Threads:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Live now on Instagram:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Making waves on Facebook:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Trending via Twitch:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Just landed via X:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨