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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

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Valentineโ€™s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And donโ€™t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

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Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

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I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

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Family reunion? More like a *reality* check! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿงน๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ผ



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

You can tell youโ€™re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Donโ€™t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; Iโ€™m a professional.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

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