Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Trending via Messenger:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Broadcasted on X:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Just shared via WeChat:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞‍♂️⏰💊😂"

Adderall, ADHD, day, drug, drug humor, every, exaggeration, extension, fantasy, hours, humor, i, productivity, thinking, time, time extension, unemployed, unemployment, wish, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

0

2 months ago

bed, comedy, dialogue, guards, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irony, playful, sleep, take, wit
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

0

5 months ago

chin, chin hair, hair, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plucking, sarcasm, self-care
It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, blues, day, early, early anxiety, having, humor, Monday, Monday blues, motivation, never, next, procrastination, relatable, sad, sadness, tired, too, weekend, work
Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

0

2 months ago

clean, convenience, everyone, humor, just, laziness, outside, pee, toilet
Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

0

2 months ago

behavior, care, fun, humor, introvert, just, know, privacy, social, social behavior, too
This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

0

2 months ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

39 shares on Threads this month:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite color is sunshine.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Just shared via Messenger:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Trending via Facebook:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Freshly posted on X:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Trending via YouTube:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨