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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Breaking via Facebook:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Going viral on Twitch:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Just shared via Messenger:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just landed via Facebook:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"With the amount of eye rolls I do daily, I'd be a fitness icon by now! 🙄💪😂"

burning, calorie, calorie burning, eye, eye rolling, eyes, fitness, fitness joke, humor, i, joke, rolling, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bees, better, explaining, fly, honey, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, man, metaphor, once, patience, said, shit, time, waste, wisdom, wise
Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

0

2 months ago

alone, animal, animal antics, antics, behavior, care, dog, entertainment, funny behavior, good, good show, home, home alone, house, leave, Netflix, normal, pet, pet care, scroll, show, watch
Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

0

2 months ago

being, cool, humor, motorcycle, music, piano, shout, shout out, vehicle, Yamaha
I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

0

2 months ago

guys, humor, i, joke, late, lifestyle, mafia, never, night, sleep, stay
Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

0

2 months ago

challenges, cowshed, humor, life, metaphor, next, perspective, step, struggle, turd
You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

0

4 months ago

best, entertainment, ever, favorite, favorite song, just, life, moment, music, playing, series, sery, song, start, surprise, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

38 shares on X this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Making waves on Messenger:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Spotted on YouTube:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨