Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Spotted on TikTok:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Making waves on TikTok:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Spotted on Facebook:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

I woke up alive again.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream, one accidental success at a time! 😂🎉💤

again, alive, gratitude, humor, i, life, morning, waking, waking up, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

0

2 months ago

day, driving, escort, humor, Midwest, police, police escort, road, road trip, salt, salt truck, snowy, snowy day, trip, truck, winter
My nickname in high school was “who?”

0

2 months ago

high, high school, humor, identity, memory, nickname, school, self-deprecation
I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

0

2 months ago

card, credit, credit card, debt, finance, humor, irresponsibly, joke, money, spending, used
New year update: losing everything but weight.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year
People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

0

2 months ago

always, car, driver, home, humor, i, love, me, people, sit, talk, Uber, waiting, whenever, yell
“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, communication, conversation, humor, interaction, least, question, relationship, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Twitch this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

88 shares on Discord this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Just shared via Discord:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Just shared via Slack:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Just shared via Twitch:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Making waves on Reddit:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Shared recently on X:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Just landed via Discord:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I woke up alive again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

My nickname in high school was “who?”

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

New year update: losing everything but weight.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨