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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Trending via Threads:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Spreading quickly via X:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Just shared via WeChat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Just landed via YouTube:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Making waves on Slack:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

1 month ago

Witty quote about personal growth through adversity, humorously acknowledging life's challenges.

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Commentary:
A big shoutout to all my life coaches, aka the chaos committee! 🙌🤣🔥

adversity, am, everyone, gratitude, growth, humor, i, me, person, personal, personal growth, resilience, sarcasm, thank, today, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

36 shares on Discord this month:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

48 shares on X this month:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

91 shares on X this month:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Live now on X:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Breaking via Facebook:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Going viral on WeChat:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Freshly posted on X:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

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Activity Log ✨

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨