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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Making waves on X:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Shared recently on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Making waves on X:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dear Santa, Money!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Live now on Slack:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Going viral on Messenger:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When love is on the menu, I'll take the combo meal, please! 😘🍔🤗"

affection, cute, gesture, hug, humor, ID, kiss, large, love, order, place, playful, relationship, romantic, romantic gesture, sweet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

0

2 months ago

attract, attraction, humor, opposites, relationship, undress
Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

0

2 months ago

craving, cream, dessert, dinner, food, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, indulgence, meal, meal idea, should, thing
Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

0

2 months ago

baby, crying, humor, joke, maybe, parenting
In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

0

3 months ago

90s, always, house, humor, interaction, memory, nostalgia, social, social interaction, stranger, strangers
Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

0

5 months ago

alien, aliens, alone, animal, animals, dying, existential, government, humor, just, leaving, loneliness, me, planet, relationship, us
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

0

5 months ago

attitude, eating, hate, here, humor, imagine, indulgence, jar, just, me, Nutella, over, snack, spoon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

45 shares on X this month:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

68 shares on Threads this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

71 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Making waves on Messenger:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Going viral on Threads:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Spotted on Threads:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨