Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Just shared via Twitch:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Live now on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Just shared via Telegram:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Going viral on X:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Live now on Instagram:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who wouldn't? I'm a VIP in the land of awesome! 🌟😎 #selfstalker"

humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, closer, humor, life, mortality, obituary, reflection, say, time, whatever, year
Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

0

2 months ago

am, call, calls, devastating, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, meeting, observation, online, online meeting, over-nodder, realization, social, social interaction, video, video call
According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

0

4 weeks ago

am, got, humor, i, most, music, play, played, self-reference, Spotify, wrapped, year
You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

0

2 months ago

drug, humor, me, moron, oxy, surprise, telling
I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

0

2 months ago

airport, cough, feel, humor, i, just, observation, people, public, public space, space, travel, waiting
That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

0

2 months ago

attitude, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, moments, office, office supply, pen, picked, procrastination, random, random moments, supply, today, unexpected, used, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Making waves on Twitch:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Trending via Messenger:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spotted on Twitch:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Trending via Threads:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Just landed via Twitch:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨