Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Trending via TikTok:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Trending via Threads:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Trending via Threads:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Trending via Slack:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Breaking via Slack:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound. When a husband speaks without his wife around… the sound is 'just kidding!'" 😅🌲🗣️

communication, forest, gender, gender roles, hear, humor, joke, man, marriage, perception, relationship, roles, still, wife, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

0

2 months ago

confusion, doing, even, existential, humor, humor quote, life, planet, sure
They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

0

4 days ago

add, article, chat, communication, every, humor, interaction, internet, live, live chat, online, online interaction, should, technology, Wikipedia
Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

0

2 months ago

ancient, ancient Rome, comedy, costume, fashion, fight, going, historical, historical comedy, humor, leather, leather skirt, roman, Roman soldier, Rome, short, skirt, soldier
Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

0

2 months ago

confidence, day, flirting, hot, humor, i, me, nice, self-esteem
Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

0

2 months ago

culture, darth, Darth Maul, humor, marriage, maul, pop, pop culture, sci-fi, surprise, veil, wedding, wife
Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

0

2 months ago

after, anything, appetizer, eat, eating, food, humor, logic, meal, portions, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

47 shares on Threads this month:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

95 shares on X this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

21 shares on Slack this month:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Trending via Facebook:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Trending via Pinterest:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Shared recently on Threads:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Trending via Facebook:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨