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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Spotted on Instagram:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Live now on Messenger:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Making waves on Instagram:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Going viral on TikTok:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Waiting for my cat to text back is like waiting for a response from a magic 8-ball—I keep asking, but it feels like they just shook me off! 😹📱✨"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

87 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

90 shares on Discord this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Live now on Slack:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Trending via WeChat:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Making waves on Discord:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Broadcasted on X:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Going viral on WeChat:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Making waves on Discord:

Love is in the air fryer.

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