Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Just shared via Twitch:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Just landed via YouTube:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Shared recently on Twitch:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Shared recently on X:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Waiting for my cat to text back is like waiting for a response from a magic 8-ball—I keep asking, but it feels like they just shook me off! 😹📱✨"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

14 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Making waves on Instagram:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Live now on Telegram:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Just landed via Telegram:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Trending via Instagram:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Freshly posted on X:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

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