Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Live now on Pinterest:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Trending via Discord:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Making waves on Reddit:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Spotted on Discord:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"New Year's resolution: be more proactive in friendships or just blame it on laziness like a pro. 😅💤 #FriendshipGoals #LazyButLoyal"

friendship, gang, happy, humor, i, just, lazy, new, new year, saying, still, text, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

0

2 months ago

honesty, humor, just, relationship, say, things, think
What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

0

2 months ago

being, drunk, humor, intoxication, question, right, situation
Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

0

2 months ago

coping, coping mechanism, cut, emotion, emotions, humor, lighthearted, mechanism, sarcasm, self-control, trying
It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

0

2 months ago

alone, bed, bedtime, crumb, crumbs, humor, joke, loneliness, sleeping, sleeping alone, snack
Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

0

2 months ago

car, car doctor, cause, crazy, doctor, having, humor, joke, maintenance, take, vehicle, vehicle maintenance
Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

0

2 months ago

advice, health, humor, just, listen, me, mental, mental health, nap, relaxation, take, therapist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Making waves on Discord:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨