Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Going viral on Discord:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just landed via Telegram:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm no math whiz, but even I know that's a lot of failed tests! 📚🤓💸

50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WeChat this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

41 shares on X this month:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Broadcasted on X:

I need a massage for my brain.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨