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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Making waves on Reddit:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Going viral on Discord:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Spreading quickly via X:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Spotted on YouTube:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Spotted on Slack:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Trending via TikTok:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

10 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about feline independence and affection with a witty, charming vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Be honest, you’d have me microchipped and spoiled with treats in no time 😸🛋️

affection, cat, domesticate, follow, home, humor, i, ID, let, me, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

10 shares on X this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Spotted on Facebook:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Live now on Facebook:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Spreading quickly via X:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

How is it still this week?

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

How is it still this week?

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨