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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Trending via Slack:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Shared recently on Threads:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Just landed via Instagram:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Spotted on Threads:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Just shared via Telegram:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

2 hours ago

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Commentary:
Be honest, you’d have me microchipped and spoiled with treats in no time 😸🛋️

affection, cat, domesticate, follow, home, humor, i, ID, let, me, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

1 week ago

emotion, humor, i, love, poet, relationship, therapist, thrill, worry
Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

3 months ago

determination, due, humor, i, life, motivation, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons
Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

2 months ago

beautiful, comparison, dog, hot, hot dog, humor, movy, night, relatable, sleep, tossing, turning, women
They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

2 months ago

entertainment, good, humor, idea, movie
I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

6 months ago

am, distress, happy, hit, humor, i, intended, irony, listening, music, pharrell, Pharrell Williams, smash, song, time, truly, understanding, williams
I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

2 months ago

away, boundary, conversation, humor, i, keep, kids, lot, me, parenting, people, swear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

47 shares on Threads this month:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

20 shares on WeChat this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

80 shares on X this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Seen just now on Discord:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Going viral on Threads:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨