Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Breaking via TikTok:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Spotted on Instagram:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Going viral on Messenger:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Live now on Threads:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Going bananas on Slack:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Just landed via Reddit:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Making waves on Instagram:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That's the kind of cheddar that'll have everyone grinning like a mouse in a cheese factory! 🧀😄🐭"

animal, animal joke, cheese, greeting, humor, i, ID, joke, meet, mouse, pun, say, things, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

2 months ago

alcoholic, alcoholic beverage, beverage, blood, Blood of Mannaroth, dew, drink, fantasy, green, green drink, humor, i, mannaroth, mix, mixing, mixing drink, mountain, Mountain Dew, nickname, orc, used, vodka
Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

2 months ago

assertiveness, confidence, contact, dance, dominance, eye, eye contact, humor, twerking
I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

2 months ago

anniversary, bit, cards, celebration, commit, humor, i, love, relationship, sign
My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

2 months ago

aspiration, change, clear, goal, humor, life, life change, month, motivation, next, self-improvement, simple, simplicity, small, whole
I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

2 months ago

attitude, care, disappointed, disappointment, humor, i, impressed, independence, me, parental, parental relationship, parents, relationship, sarcasm
Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

3 months ago

call, cold, hot, i, just, me, mood, mood swing, mother, Mother Nature, nature, period, swing, temperature, too, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

55 shares on X this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

People should come with warning labels.

Spotted on X:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Spotted on Instagram:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Making waves on WeChat:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Going viral on Slack:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨