Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Spotted on WeChat:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Just shared via Threads:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Making waves on Threads:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Just shared via YouTube:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"That's the kind of cheddar that'll have everyone grinning like a mouse in a cheese factory! 🧀😄🐭"

animal, animal joke, cheese, greeting, humor, i, ID, joke, meet, mouse, pun, say, things, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

2 months ago

call, community, creepy, Creepy Steve, crime, humor, just, last, man, missing, never, podcast, police, response, seen, steve, true, true crime, week, woman, young
Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

4 weeks ago

advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want
The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

2 months ago

adult, daily, daily life, glasses, head, humor, keys, knees, life, phone, priorities, responsibility, version, wallet
It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

2 months ago

30, cut, escalator, frustration, humor, inconvenience, minutes, power, power cut, stand, standing, sucks, waiting
Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

2 months ago

addiction, alcohol, cycle, drinking, humor, recovery, regret, repeat, self-awareness, vicious, vicious cycle
It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

2 months ago

attitude, card, cards, game, got, hand, hidden, humor, humor quote, luck, metaphor, play, skill, strategy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WeChat this month:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

55 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

20 shares on X this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Just shared via Instagram:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Just landed via Threads:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Making waves on X:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Going viral on Telegram:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Breaking via Discord:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨