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Commentary:
Haha, talk about a forgetful party planner in the making! 🎉🤔 Maybe next time, the surprise will be on you—because with a memory like that, you'll forget you even planned it! 😅🎈#MemoryGoals

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

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6 months ago

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Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

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2 months ago

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It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

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2 months ago

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Does your blood pump that way just for me?

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2 months ago

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Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

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2 months ago

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Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

80 shares on X this month:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Just shared via X:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Just shared via YouTube:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Making waves on Facebook:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Just shared via Slack:

Making waves on YouTube:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨