Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Seen just now on Slack:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Just shared via WeChat:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Spotted on YouTube:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Shared recently on Slack:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Following influencers like it's a full-time career 😅📱 #CertifiedInfluenced

beyond, humor, influence, influencer, influencers, insult, media, opinion, satire, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

0

2 months ago

annoyed, catch, Covid, explain, feelings, health, humor, i, irony, kind, once, pandemic, rude, still
The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

0

2 months ago

aging, bushe, drunk, fall, getting, humor, nice, nice thing, older, thing
“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

0

2 months ago

advice, criticism, God, humor, i, life, life advice, notes, okay, plan, sarcasm, well
Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, comedy, crisis, fashion, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, satire, should, war, wear, wonder, world
Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bird, birds, close, cloud, days, drinking, eating, excuse, flew, humor, i, joke, message, rain, skydiving, sorry, stuck, survival, too
I believe in annoyed at first sight.

0

2 months ago

annoyed, belief, believe, first sight, humor, i, love, relationship, sight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Spotted on WeChat:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Making waves on Telegram:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Spotted on Discord:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Breaking via Reddit:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Live now on TikTok:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Live now on TikTok:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Making waves on Pinterest:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨