Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Trending via Instagram:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Just landed via Threads:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Breaking via Instagram:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Just shared via Discord:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Trending via Reddit:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Following influencers like it's a full-time career 😅📱 #CertifiedInfluenced

beyond, humor, influence, influencer, influencers, insult, media, opinion, satire, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

0

2 months ago

area, area code, calls, code, codes, comedy, dating, different, exhausting, exhaustion, having, humor, phone, phone calls, relationship, romance, sounds, travel
If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

0

2 months ago

choice, choices, humor, irony, life, life choice, media, posts, ridiculous, self-deprecation, should, social, social media, think
I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

0

2 months ago

40, age, alarm, alarm clock, bladder, changes, clock, humor, i, life, life changes, need, over, over 40, sleep, waking, waking up
You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

0

2 months ago

adult, choices, freedom, humor, kids, life, life choices, mind, never, parenting, responsibility, want
Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

0

2 months ago

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

43 shares on X this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

32 shares on X this month:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

69 shares on X this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Making waves on WeChat:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Just landed via Instagram:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Just landed via Pinterest:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Trending via Threads:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Just shared via Discord:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨