If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

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Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

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You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

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The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

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Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

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I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

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Come on, karma, do your job.

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Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

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Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

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Is the elephant in the room with us right now?