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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Live now on X:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Making waves on Slack:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Trending via Messenger:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Live now on Pinterest:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Going bananas on WeChat:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Making waves on Facebook:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Going live on family drama is the true Thanksgiving parade 🎥🍿🦃

advice, celebration, conflict, family, fighting, holiday, humor, live, relationship, survival, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

2 months ago

conditions, distractions, festive, humor, i, productivity, under, work
What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

2 months ago

couch, funny observation, gathering, humor, observation, people, social, social gathering, Sunday, visit, wrong
Problematic bed time gap relationship.

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, gap, humor, problem, problematic, relationship, time
I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

2 months ago

activity, catch, catch up, humor, i, irony, jail, need, reading, time
Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

2 months ago

AOL, canceled, control, humor, internet, joke, life, life control, procrastination, self-improvement, subscription, technology, today
My plan is to die young as late as possible.

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Shared recently on Instagram:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Just landed via Snapchat:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Trending via Messenger:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Just landed via Facebook:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨