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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Going bananas on YouTube:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Breaking via X:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Happiness is an inside job.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Just landed via X:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Just landed via Facebook:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally achieved influencer status… one 'seen' at a time! 😅📱✌️ #StealthMode"

attention, humor, ignore, influencer, me, media, online, people, sarcasm, satire, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

0

2 months ago

finance, goodbye, humor, joke, money, saying, talk
Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

0

2 months ago

desire, flirtation, humor, i, mind, object, relationship, worry
I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, excited, going, humor, negativity, sucks, think, today
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

0

2 months ago

am, circumstances, control, humor, i, irony, job, responsibility, work
A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

0

5 months ago

afraid, circle, closure, fear, geometry, humor, just, spiral, wordplay
I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

0

2 months ago

bus, condition, die, fast, humor, i, joke, life, reference, speed, urgency, walk, where, wherever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

25 shares on Slack this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

91 shares on X this month:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

43 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

34 shares on Threads this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Going viral on WeChat:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Making waves on Discord:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Just landed via Discord:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Spotted on WeChat:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨