Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Spreading quickly via X:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

2 months ago

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Relatable! I'm basically the Picasso of storytelling—abstract and confusing 😂🎨📖

communication, even, expert, Funny, funny story, having, humor, joke, language, mistake, story, storytelling, tell, wording

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

The peace of not knowing.

31 shares on Threads this month:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Live now on Facebook:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Shared recently on Slack:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Trending via WeChat:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Going viral on Facebook:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨