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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Going viral on Messenger:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Spotted on Reddit:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Going viral on Slack:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Going viral on Threads:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Just landed via Twitch:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Relatable! I'm basically the Picasso of storytelling—abstract and confusing 😂🎨📖

communication, even, expert, Funny, funny story, having, humor, joke, language, mistake, story, storytelling, tell, wording

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Come on, karma, do your job.

0

2 months ago

come on, expectation, humor, irony, job, karma
I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

0

3 months ago

3, after, afternoon, Friday, Fridays, humor, mood, niceness, nicer, personality, time
The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

0

2 months ago

comparison, elder, gender, generation, humor, i, say, thing, woman, wonder, wonder woman
When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

0

1 month ago

annoyed, awkwardness, empty, empty seat, feelings, humor, irony, mixed, mixed feelings, offended, personal, personal space, reaction, seat, situation, social, social awkwardness, social situation, someone, space
Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

0

2 months ago

dislike, expression, facial, facial expression, fire, humor, i, imagination, just, mean, sarcasm, smile, smiling
To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

0

2 months ago

block, blocked, digital, interaction, love, online, perception, relationships, seen, social, social interaction, visibility

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

68 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

82 shares on Discord this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Spotted on X:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Trending via Discord:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Making waves on Twitch:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Just landed via Slack:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Come on, karma, do your job.

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨