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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,893

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Spotted on Reddit:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Trending via Slack:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Live now on Discord:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Trending via YouTube:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living my best life by doing absolutely nothing and loving every moment of it! 😌🛋️ #ProLevelChillin'

doing, doing nothing, favorite, favorite thing, humor, laziness, leisure, life, nothing, point, relaxation, thing, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, date, days, humor, joke, lesbian, moving, November, relationship, speed, three, time
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

0

2 months ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try
Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

0

2 months ago

back, disappointment, everything, expectations, expensive, humor, i, illegal, likes, me, relationships, text, texting
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

0

1 day ago

action, daily, daily life, day, every, fix, humor, internet, life, media, observation, social, social media, stupid, watch
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

0

2 weeks ago

beautiful, book, cover, humor, i, ignore, judge, judgment, powerful, sentiment, shopping
Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

0

2 months ago

excuse, funny excuse, humor, mom, outside, self-esteem, sorry, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

39 shares on X this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

94 shares on Slack this month:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

37 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

46 shares on Threads this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Live now on Instagram:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Just landed via WeChat:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Spotted on TikTok:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Trending via Snapchat:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Trending via Instagram:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨