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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,874

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Making waves on WeChat:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Making waves on Slack:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Just landed via YouTube:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Trending via Facebook:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Making waves on Twitch:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Spreading quickly via X:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Just shared via YouTube:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Just landed via Instagram:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to avoid spraining my mind with those mental gymnastics! 🤔🧠💪

age, aging, before, conclusion, conclusions, humor, i, jumping, patience, warm, warm-up, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

0

2 months ago

avoid, busy, daily, daily routine, drama, drinking, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, pee, peeing, routine, stay, too, water
Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

0

4 months ago

communication, earphone, earphones, form, humor, intimacy, nostalgia, relationship, sharing, technology, wired
You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

0

2 months ago

delivery, doorstep, fastest, fastest person, humor, joke, man, paid, pay, payment, person, pricing, street, theft, unexpected
I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

0

2 months ago

attractive, confidence, delusional, going, humor, i, sarcasm, self-deception, self-improvement, vanity
Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, date, dating, fashion, flirtation, humor, i, joke, man, men, nonchalant, underwear, why
Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

0

2 months ago

day, entertainment, every, exercise, floor, humor, i, laziness, people, procrastination, relaxation, remote, right, show, TV, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

81 shares on X this month:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

48 shares on X this month:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Just shared via YouTube:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Shared recently on Pinterest:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Shared recently on X:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨