Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Just shared via Slack:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Making waves on Discord:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about aging and patience, with playful humor and clever wordplay.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to avoid spraining my mind with those mental gymnastics! 🤔🧠💪

age, aging, before, conclusion, conclusions, humor, i, jumping, patience, warm, warm-up, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

2 weeks ago

again, cat, cigarettes, excuses, frustration, humor, pet, sick, smell, smells
Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

2 weeks ago

computer, confusion, humor, job, know, office, password, procrastination, technology, work
I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

2 weeks ago

am, cold, exaggeration, goodbye, guess, humor, i, illness, man, sadness
I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

1 week ago

anxiety, being, early, early riser, extra, humor, i, Monday, morning, much, procrastination, riser, sleep, today, tomorrow, waking, waking up, woke, workweek, worrying
Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

1 week ago

always, anger, being, buy, daily, daily struggle, eat, hard, humor, lose, loss, relatable, shopping, slap, someone, something, struggle, sweet, sweets, want, weight, weight loss, woman
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

3 weeks ago

awkward, awkward moment, humor, just, life, moment, separation, sery, snack, snacks

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Breaking via Messenger:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Breaking via Discord:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Just landed via Discord:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Going bananas on Discord:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨