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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Seen just now on Threads:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Spotted on X:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about the endless cycle of work and rest, full of humorous relatability.

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Commentary:
Relatable on so many levels! 😂 Work-life balance: 0, Work-work balance: 100! 🏃‍♂️💼🛌

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

69 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

34 shares on Discord this month:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

32 shares on Slack this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Spotted on Snapchat:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Going viral on Twitch:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Making waves on TikTok:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Spotted on YouTube:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨