Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Making waves on Slack:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Making waves on Discord:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Seen just now on Discord:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Spotted on Reddit:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Work is my new personality. Send help! 🛠️🤔😴😂

coming, commute, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, ready, routine, sleep, sleeping, stress, thinking, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

0

1 week ago

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing
Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

0

2 months ago

gaslighting, good, good mood, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, myself, positivity, self-deception, thinking
“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

0

2 months ago

humor, life, observation, perspective, reality, sarcasm, seen
My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

0

2 months ago

asked, ex, friend, friends, games, humor, i, joke, kid, let, me, phone, relationship, text
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

0

5 months ago

active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through
Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

0

2 months ago

curiosity, dental, dentist, explore, humor, i, joke, mouth, too, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

16 shares on X this month:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

21 shares on X this month:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Going viral on YouTube:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Trending via WeChat:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Spotted on Slack:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Live now on Pinterest:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I had too much to think last night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨