Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Making waves on Slack:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Breaking via YouTube:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Just landed via Instagram:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Achieving spiritual enlightenment one shopping spree at a time! 🛍️🧘‍♂️😂"

attachment, Buddha, desire, exactly, except, humor, i, irony, letting, mindfulness, sarcasm, self-awareness, spiritual, things, want, zen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

0

2 months ago

bad, head, humor, normal, people, tap, tested, testing, watermelon
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

0

2 months ago

cycle, fun, humor, life, routine, waiting, weekend
I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

0

3 months ago

attitude, enjoyment, fact, facts, fun, humor, information, just, knowing, knowledge, nice, time, trying
December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

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2 months ago

December, everything, humor, January, month, office, problem, procrastination, where, work
They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, education, humor, irony, pregnancy, still, teen, trauma, us, well
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

0

2 months ago

change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

25 is the new 0 years old.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

56 shares on Threads this month:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Going bananas on Threads:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Spotted on Threads:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Making waves on Discord:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨