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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Just shared via X:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Live now on YouTube:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

3 days ago

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Commentary:
Ah, the art of the delayed roast—when your brain finally catches up and says, "Oh snap, I've been slow-roasted!" 🔥🤔😅

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

1 month ago

comment, friend, Goofy, humor, i, know, misunderstanding, movie, never, saw, scary, Scary Movie, scream, seen
Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

1 month ago

affection, deficiency, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, kisses, longing, relationship, self-diagnosed, suffering
Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

2 months ago

activity, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, fun, fun activity, humor, party, relaxation, Thanksgiving, theory
The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

1 month ago

figure, health, humor, important, intelligence, irony, less, mental, mental health, self-awareness, smarter, think, thinking, wisdom
Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

1 month ago

bag, bag of salad, boxed, boxed wine, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, salad, vegetable, vegetables, wine
Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

1 month ago

combo, crazy, expression, face, funny combo, humor, mean, mean face, personality, personality trait, resting, resting face, shy, trait

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Just shared via WeChat:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

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I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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