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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Just shared via YouTube:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Shared recently on Reddit:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Trending via Pinterest:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of the delayed roast—when your brain finally catches up and says, "Oh snap, I've been slow-roasted!" 🔥🤔😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a yearning disability.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-cleaning conscience.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Just landed via Instagram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Spotted on X:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Broadcasted on Discord:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

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