Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Breaking via Instagram:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Just landed via Threads:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Trending via Pinterest:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of the delayed roast—when your brain finally catches up and says, "Oh snap, I've been slow-roasted!" 🔥🤔😅

cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

2 months ago

AI, artificial intelligence, cat, ChatGPT, comparison, dinner, eating, friends, friendship, humor, me, pets, vomit
I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

2 months ago

behavior, humor, ID, liking, liking post, me, media, own, post, privacy, self-love, social, social media, social media behavior, watch
Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

6 months ago

2, accidental, accidentally, humor, nature, secret, secrets, squirrel, supernatural, tree, wisdom
How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

5 months ago

bed, coffee, drinking, humor, late, lying, morning, naked, relaxation, still, too
Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

2 months ago

communication, hello, humor, leave, message, speak, technology, toaster, voicemail
I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

3 months ago

better, choices, decisions, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, memoir, mistakes, regret, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I love men with a provider fetish.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

19 shares on TikTok this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Spotted on Messenger:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Just landed via TikTok:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Just shared via Reddit:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Spotted on Snapchat:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨