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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Making waves on TikTok:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Making waves on Twitch:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Freshly posted on X:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Shared recently on Threads:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

10 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Clever quote about witty insults that sneak up on you unexpectedly.

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Commentary:
Ah, the art of the delayed roast—when your brain finally catches up and says, "Oh snap, I've been slow-roasted!" 🔥🤔😅

cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

65 shares on Threads this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Trending via YouTube:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Going bananas on Threads:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Just shared via Reddit:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Trending via Discord:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨