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Well, if Santa-shaped chocolate can cure upset stomachs, then sign me up for some Christmas magic 🎅🍫! Who needs medicine when you've got jolly ol' Saint Nick in chocolate form? 😂 #FestiveRemedies

chocolate, doctor, food, holiday, humor, joke, pretty, Santa, stomach, sure

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13 shares on Threads this month:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Making waves on YouTube:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Trending via Messenger:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Spotted on X:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

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I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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