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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Live now on X:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Going viral on Messenger:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just landed via Twitch:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Spotted on WeChat:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Trending via Snapchat:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Just landed via Reddit:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

3 months ago

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First row seats to the longest 30 seconds in sports history! ⏰🏀📺

25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

76 shares on X this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

59 shares on Threads this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Making waves on Telegram:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They expect me to work at work.

Shared recently on Discord:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Going viral on YouTube:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Spotted on Messenger:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Shared recently on Discord:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Just shared via Telegram:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨