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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Just shared via Messenger:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Live now on Reddit:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
First row seats to the longest 30 seconds in sports history! ⏰🏀📺

25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

3 months ago
accident, bed, blanket, breakfast, cozy, crime, crumb, food, humor, mess, morning, scene, snack, where
I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

1 month ago
activitie, adoption, extrovert, friendship, fun, introvert, me, socializing, things
Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

1 month ago
abandonment, due, health, humor, irony, issues, mental, mental health, self-awareness, yes
Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

1 month ago
40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome
Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

1 month ago
addiction, anxiety, beverage, caffeine, coffee, enjoy, humor, sarcasm, urinating
Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

1 month ago
activity, date, fitted, fitted sheet, flirting, fold, fun, fun activity, humor, invitation, me, over, playful, relationship, sheet

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Trending via Telegram:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Seen just now on WeChat:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Live now on Discord:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

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I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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