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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,765

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Making waves on Messenger:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I put the mess in domestic.

Spotted on Discord:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Just landed via Reddit:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Laundry is my arch-nemesis; it scares me more than binge-watching horror movies alone 🤦‍♀️🙈🧺

alone, away, bored, boredom, home, home alone, humor, imagine, laundry, me, mind, procrastination, put, relatable, self-reflection, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

0

2 months ago

arrival, ask, bird, birds, ETA, humor, question, sky, travel, waiting
It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

0

5 months ago

closer, connection, distance, friend, friendship, Funny, humor, important, life, lived, meet, meeting, nicer, online, online friend, someone
She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

0

2 months ago

ego, humor, love, narcissism, obsession, self, self-love, self-obsession
Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

0

2 months ago

effort, enough, hard, hate, honesty, humor, motivation, nobody, perspective, remember, self-improvement, trying
The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

0

2 months ago

activity, ago, always, bots, comedy, hilarious, humor, internet, internet humor, just, liking, me, media, online, online activity, porn, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, viral
I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

0

2 months ago

boob, boobs, contact, eye, eye contact, glad, humor, i, interaction, last, making, me, need, people, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

96 shares on X this month:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

78 shares on X this month:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Trending via Snapchat:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Discord:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Going viral on TikTok:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Spotted on Reddit:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Going viral on Telegram:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨