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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Just landed via Slack:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Just landed via Telegram:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

1 month ago

Playful quote about cows in Switzerland sharing daily "moo" moments with a humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Moo-ving to Switzerland for the views and the grass-fed lifestyle! 🐄🇨🇭🌄

animal, conversation, cow, day, enjoying, every, humor, imagination, imagine, me, moo, nature, saying, Switzerland, view

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

22 shares on X this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Just landed via TikTok:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Going viral on Twitch:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Making waves on Instagram:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Spotted on Slack:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Going viral on X:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Breaking via Threads:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨