Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Just landed via YouTube:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Live now on X:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Making waves on Twitch:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Live now on Messenger:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Just shared via Telegram:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Trending via Twitch:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Going viral on X:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Moo-ving to Switzerland for the views and the grass-fed lifestyle! 🐄🇨🇭🌄

animal, conversation, cow, day, enjoying, every, humor, imagination, imagine, me, moo, nature, saying, Switzerland, view

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

0

6 months ago

art, curiosity, fine, humor, meddling, nose, sticking, where
Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, buy, chocolate, date, flowers, gift, humor, KitKats, me, preference, relationship
Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

0

5 months ago

digestion, even, gut, handle, humor, milk, thing, trust
All quiet on the frontal lobe.

0

1 month ago

brain, frontal, frontal lobe, humor, lobe, pun, quiet
Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

0

2 months ago

communication, going, greeting, humor, intention, sleep
I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

0

2 months ago

1984, forgetfulness, humor, irony, kitchen, memory, nostalgia, song, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

71 shares on Threads this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

21 shares on Threads this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Just shared via YouTube:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Spotted on Threads:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Just shared via Twitch:

They’re making me do work at work.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Trending via Discord:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨