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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Just shared via TikTok:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Just landed via Threads:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Making waves on Reddit:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Going viral on Reddit:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Just shared via Telegram:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you cereal without milk, just upgrade to breakfast dessert mode 🍦🥣😂

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

2 months ago

humor, i, little, much, oops, overthinking, self-reflection, think, too, too much
The more I practice, the luckier I get.

3 weeks ago

effort, humor, i, improvement, luck, motivation, practice, skill, success
According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, food, humor, i, just, meal, people, portion
I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

2 months ago

contact, dog, emergency, emergency contact, humor, i, loneliness, me, neighbor, neighbors, put, relationship, single
The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

2 months ago

bigger, even, failure, forget, humor, humor quote, irony, learning, life, mistake, mistakes, only, past, present
That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

2 months ago

always, feel, guys, hour, humor, irony, media, much, nice, procrastination, scroll, self-reflection, social, social media, tomorrow, Twitter, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on YouTube this month:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Seen just now on Twitch:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Live now on Reddit:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨