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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Live now on X:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Making waves on YouTube:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Just landed via X:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Trending via TikTok:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Making waves on Discord:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about handling tough moments with humor and creativity.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you cereal without milk, just upgrade to breakfast dessert mode 🍦🥣😂

bowl, cereal, cream, difficult, difficult scenario, example, food, give, humor, i, ice, ice cream, improvisation, interview, interviewer, me, milk, problem, problem-solving, scenario, solving, used

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

90 shares on Slack this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Making waves on Telegram:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Trending via Messenger:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Just shared via X:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Spotted on Threads:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨