Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Trending via WeChat:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Just landed via Facebook:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Going bananas on Twitch:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you cereal without milk, just upgrade to breakfast dessert mode 🍦🥣😂

bowl, cereal, cream, difficult, difficult scenario, example, food, give, humor, i, ice, ice cream, improvisation, interview, interviewer, me, milk, problem, problem-solving, scenario, solving, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

0

2 months ago

argue, crazy, family, hobby, internet, need, people, stranger, strangers, time, waste
To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

0

1 month ago

30, 30-30, 30-30 rule, after, avoid, balance, burnout, disappear, escape, humor, job, minutes, mountain, quit, relief, retirement, rule, stress, stress relief, work, work life, work-life balance
Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

0

2 months ago

compliment, example, flex, friend, friends, friendship, good, humor, mom, social, social status, status
I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

0

2 months ago

done, growth, humor, learn, magic, personal, personal growth, self-care, spells, time, transformation, witchcraft
Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

0

1 month ago

admit, doze, doze off, humor, men, sleep, stereotype, wakefulness, why, wrong
Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

0

1 month ago

401k, cause, commitment, exercise, finance, hell, humor, i, joke, never, retirement, run, running, signed

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Slack this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

24 shares on Threads this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Spotted on Messenger:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Spotted on Discord:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Making waves on X:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨