Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Going viral on Facebook:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm not hibernating, just processing your last social interaction. Please allow 3–5 business days for a full recharge. 💤📞➡️🚫

35, alone, being, business, business day, day, days, energy, humor, introvert, left, recharge, sleep, social, social energy, solitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

0

2 months ago

advice, health, humor, just, listen, me, mental, mental health, nap, relaxation, take, therapist
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

0

2 months ago

frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, line, patience, shopping, slow, store, superpower
I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

0

2 months ago

age, fool, gentler, i, kinder, pity
Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

0

2 months ago

body, body function, burp, comedy, deep, digestion, feel, function, humor, i, lighthearted, loss, lost, love, me, self, self humor, weight, weight loss
The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

0

4 months ago

avoidant, behavior, boy, communication, humor, irony, know, lover, lover boy, man, most, personality, social, social behavior, someone, somewhere, telling
If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

0

2 months ago

depressed, exercise, feel, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, physical, physical health, run, self-awareness, soon, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Reddit this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The void screams into me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Making waves on X:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Just landed via Telegram:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨