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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,777

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Going viral on Slack:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Going viral on Instagram:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Just landed via Facebook:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Jumping off a bridge?! 😱 Calm down, just think of it as giving the camera a candid blooper moment! 📸😆

attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

1 month ago

acting, conversation, humor, misunderstanding, weird
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

1 month ago

advice, bad, bad time, good, humor, just, listening, none, partner, relationship, sarcasm, side, support, tell, time, times
Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

3 weeks ago

apart, begin, clothing, comfort, fall, falling, falling apart, favorite, humor, nothing, preparation, relatability, sweatpant, sweatpants
Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

1 month ago

confusion, definitely, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, me, over, remember, self-deprecation, spell, spelling, thoughts, trying
The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

1 month ago

adventure, exploration, humor, i, journey, know, shortcut, travel, words
I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

4 months ago

humor, i, leave, leg, me, parlor, prank, shaving, tattoo, tattoo parlor, trick

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Breaking via Twitch:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Making waves on Slack:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Breaking via Telegram:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

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It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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