Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Trending via Telegram:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Trending via Slack:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Making waves on Pinterest:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Going viral on Instagram:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Going bananas on Threads:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Going bananas on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess the universal translator didn't get the memo to translate my cat's meows into English 😹🌐✨

change, communication, free, Funny, got, humor, irony, language, technology, translation, universal, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

0

2 months ago

even, humor, joke, scotch, tape, taste
Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, communication, frustration, getting, humor, i, shirt, technology, tired, trying
Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

0

2 months ago

being, business, communication, great, held, hostage, humor, meetings, office, work
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time
Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

0

2 months ago

Batman, being, die, friends, hard, humor, interaction, introvert, just, me, recharging, social, social interaction, suspense
A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

0

2 months ago

end, fundraising, humor, hunger, irony, jar, media, satire, social, social media, swear, swear jar, Twitter, world, world hunger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

96 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Trending via Telegram:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Going bananas on X:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Just shared via TikTok:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Breaking via YouTube:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Making waves on Telegram:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨