Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Spotted on X:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Making waves on Facebook:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Live now on Messenger:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Just landed via Twitch:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Going viral on Instagram:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Shared recently on Twitch:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the social media version of survival of the silliest! 😂🤪 #TrueFriendsTest

communication, friendship, humor, important, learn, learning, likes, media, popularity, post, self-awareness, social, social media, stuff, stupid, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, cancel, enjoy, enjoyment, free, free time, i, introvert, people, plans, social, time, where
Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, bad decision, choice, choices, decision, humor, humorous, making, myself, number, pride, proud, record-breaking, sarcastic, self-deprecating, today
If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

0

2 months ago

anything, crazy, different, human, human nature, humor, me, media, nature, personality, social, social media, taught
If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, communication, concerns, hesitate, humor, irony, questions
Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

0

2 months ago

date, ghost, Halloween, humor, illegal, law, relationship, upset
I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

0

2 months ago

birth, child, child birth, daily, daily life, family, faster, humor, i, kid, life, motherhood, parenting, put, speed

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

67 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

78 shares on Instagram this month:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Shared recently on X:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Making waves on Threads:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Making waves on TikTok:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Just shared via Instagram:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨