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Commentary:
"Remember, parents are just winging it too! 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️ After all, who needs a manual when you can create one with trial and error? 😂 #Parenting101 #MistakesWereMade"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

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2 months ago

attention, back, humor, i, interaction, reaction, retard, social, social interaction, someone, surprise, yell
Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

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2 months ago

around, Craigslist, dark, dark humor, everyone, humor, internet, joke, marketplace, murder, online, online marketplace, over, safety, still
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

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2 months ago

alone, car, good, humor, i, moment, people, performance, private, private moment, self-expression, shower, sing, singing, wish
Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

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2 months ago

5, 9, 9 to 5, cosmic, daily, daily grind, floating, grind, humor, irony, reasonable, rock, sounds, space, work
Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

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2 months ago

clumsiness, embarrassment, face, fall, faster, hand, humble, humor, nothing, phone, slip, slipping, technology
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

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5 months ago

bed, bullshit, chores, daily, daily life, every, frustration, humor, i, life, morning, routine, single, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

15 shares on Discord this month:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Just landed via Twitch:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Going viral on Discord:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Going bananas on Instagram:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Making waves on YouTube:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨