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Looks like today’s emergency broadcast is brought to you by me! 🚨🎈🍰
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It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.
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Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.
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Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.
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Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.
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