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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Just shared via TikTok:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Live now on WeChat:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Trending via YouTube:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Witty text about social media nostalgia, humorously comparing Facebook's evolution to farmland.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when Facebook was just a humble farmville before it blossomed into a bustling metropolis of cat videos and avocado toast selfies 🌾🚜🐄📱 #FlashbackFriday #SocialMediaGlowUp

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on TikTok this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

91 shares on Slack this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

81 shares on Discord this month:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For whom the Fetty Waps.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Trending via YouTube:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Going bananas on Slack:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Just shared via Threads:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

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