Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.
  • Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.
  • Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.
  • If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
  • Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”
  • I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.