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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about dread over upcoming team-building retreat, humorous and sarcastic tone.

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Commentary:
Sending virtual hugs and an emergency supply of caffeine! ☕️😅 Good luck surviving the trust falls!🤞🏻😂

colleague, department, difficult, difficult time, humor, just, learned, news, office, planning, retreat, sarcasm, team building, terrible, thank, thoughts, time, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

3 weeks ago

humor, i, irony, joke, mad, madness, mind, mind reader, psychic, reader, wit
No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

3 weeks ago

adult, behavior, comment, doll, funny behavior, humor, i, real, sarcasm, voodoo, voodoo doll
Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

3 weeks ago

challenge, crisis, daily, daily life, daily struggle, day, every, humor, life, life challenge, mid-day, mid-day crisis, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midday, midlife, something, struggle
When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

2 weeks ago

childhood, entertainment, humor, i, kid, Netflix, nostalgia, technology, walk
Eating healthy requires a second job.

1 week ago

diet, eating, healthy, healthy eating, humor, job, lifestyle, money, second, work
Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

3 weeks ago

call, culture, humor, joke, K-pop, language, music, pun, Seoul

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

24 shares on X this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

46 shares on X this month:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Making waves on WeChat:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Live now on YouTube:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Trending via Reddit:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

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Activity Log ✨

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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