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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

401 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,670

Funny Quotes Topics

17,703

Funny Quotes Images

15,670

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Live now on Reddit:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Seen just now on X:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning my phone addiction into a computer addiction—progress? 😅💻📱

computer, digital, digital life, humor, irony, life, looking, multitasking, phone, phone time, screen, screen time, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

2 months ago

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

2 months ago

arrange, beat, cleverness, competition, humor, strategy, wit
I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

3 months ago

activity, die, friend, friends, ghost, good, hope, humor, i, people, scare, stay, walk, wall, walls
They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

2 months ago

big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end
The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

2 months ago

appearance, college, dating, hot, humor, i, importance, important, lesson, life, life lesson, matter, matters, priorities, self-esteem, stress, thing, where
“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

2 months ago

actually, AI, communication, comprehension, email, humor, i, intended, person, read, reading, said, sarcasm, summary, technology, thanks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

46 shares on X this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Spotted on Reddit:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Seen just now on X:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Trending via Telegram:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Earth is hard.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨