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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Trending via Facebook:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Making waves on Telegram:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Breaking via WhatsApp:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Going viral on Discord:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Just landed via Threads:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Making waves on Slack:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Trending via Snapchat:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the only thing hotter than the core of a nuclear reactor is the drama unfolding before our eyes! Jesus take the wheel, because this meltdown is reaching Chernobyl levels of intensity. Someone call the firefighters, we've got a situation hotter than a reactor core here!

Chernobyl, comparison, disaster, exaggeration, humor, Jesus, meltdown

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

46 shares on Slack this month:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

39 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Going viral on Messenger:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Freshly posted on Slack:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Making waves on Twitch:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just landed via Facebook:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

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