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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

32 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Just landed via Telegram:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on Messenger:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Just shared via YouTube:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Making waves on Slack:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

5 months ago

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the only thing hotter than the core of a nuclear reactor is the drama unfolding before our eyes! Jesus take the wheel, because this meltdown is reaching Chernobyl levels of intensity. Someone call the firefighters, we've got a situation hotter than a reactor core here!

Chernobyl, comparison, disaster, exaggeration, humor, Jesus, meltdown

Response

Sure! Here are a few username options:

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, talk about a meltdown catastrophe! Seriously, comparing it to Chernobyl, it must have been an explosion of drama and fallout of emotions. I guess someone forgot to cool their reactor rods! 😂🌋🔥

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

32 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Breaking via Slack:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just shared via YouTube:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Just landed via Slack:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

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