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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Spotted on Instagram:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Making waves on TikTok:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Just shared via Reddit:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Trending via Pinterest:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Live now on YouTube:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Freshly posted on X:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Going viral on Discord:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Making waves on TikTok:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

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Commentary:
Laughter: your daily requirement of vitamin HA! Stay hydrated and remember, no one likes a vibe vampire! 😄💧🚫🧛‍♂️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

54 shares on Threads this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

14 shares on X this month:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Live now on Twitch:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Just landed via Discord:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Just landed via WeChat:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Seen just now on Slack:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Going viral on YouTube:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

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