Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.