Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Going viral on Instagram:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Making waves on Discord:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Going bananas on X:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hitting the snooze button in my soul every morning! ⏰😴💼

bed, bedtime, early, found, i, just, matter, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

0

2 months ago

am, awareness, humor, i, ID, intelligence, irony, little, self-reflection, smart, stupid
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, dilemma, guilty, guilty pleasure, honesty, humor, i, kids, last, night, parenting, pleasure, snack
I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

0

2 months ago

am, animals, cat, cats, companionship, even, friend, humor, i, mean, reasons, yes
Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

0

5 months ago

brother, gone, hogan, honor, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, ripping, screaming, shirt, shirt ripping, shirts, stranger, strangers, tribute, wrestling
You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

0

2 months ago

dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile
Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

0

5 months ago

adulting, celestial, excuse, hard, humor, just, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, need, retrograde, sometimes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

35 shares on Slack this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

93 shares on Reddit this month:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Trending via Messenger:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Trending via YouTube:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Live now on Instagram:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Going viral on Slack:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨