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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Listen to the birds, not the news.
  • Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.
  • Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.
  • “Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.
  • I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.
  • Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.