Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Going viral on Discord:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Seen just now on X:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Breaking via Twitch:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew that football was secretly a game of playground keep-away? 😂🏈🙈

ball, enough, fight, football, humor, just, literally, making, over, player, players, reason, saw, sideline, sport

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

0

2 months ago

am, experience, gratitude, humor, i, irony, just, lesson, life, life lesson, need, perspective
I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

0

3 months ago

almost, compliment, finished, humor, love, media, reading, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

0

2 months ago

bottom, chores, cleaning, here, house, humor, i, irony, just, living, need, sarcasm, stop, top
I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

0

2 months ago

Christmas, every, fat, gift, holiday, humor, i, joke, same, thing, tradition, year
The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

0

2 months ago

change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

0

2 months ago

confrontation, driving, feel, frustration, highway, humor, let, me, merge, power, powerful, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Going viral on Telegram:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Making waves on Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨