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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Going viral on X:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Shared recently on Discord:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe they call a time-out. 😂⚾️👒 #BaseballKisses"

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

0

2 months ago

aging, doing, doing nothing, enjoyment, getting, great, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, nothing, older, relaxation, simplicity
Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, food, going, humor, IKEA, meatball, needs, shopping, Swedish, Swedish meatball, trip
Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, buzzing, discomfort, even, irony, moment, mosquito, nature, silence, worse
I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

0

2 months ago

comfort, fat, flat, fluff, fluffy, humor, hurt, hurts, i, neck, new, old, pain, pillow, upgrade
My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

0

2 months ago

anonymity, band, costume, favorite, humor, joke, mask, member, music, Slipknot
Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, humor, irony, nostalgia, older, regret, sleep, young, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

32 shares on Twitch this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Trending via Instagram:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Going viral on Facebook:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Trending via Telegram:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Going viral on Messenger:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Spotted on Slack:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨